1) MODELING

Children copy us either positively or negatively. 1 Corinthians 11:1 has Paul’s command for the Corinthian believers to be imitators of him just as he imitates Christ. Does the way we live show Christ living in us? There’s no way that we can be a model like Jesus if our lives are not surrendered to Him. We can model humility, most especially in how we respond to corrections that we receive. Modeling is not about perfection, but about authenticity. Learn to admit mistakes, work on changes, and be very intentional. We can ask what we must start doing and stop doing in terms of how to model Christlikeness. 

2) RELATIONSHIP

The closer the relationship, the greater the influence. Jesus understood this principle – in Mark 3:14, Jesus chose 12 disciples and spent time with them. The people we spend time with have an important role. 1 Corinthians 15:13 tells us that bad company corrupts good morals. The power of influence is proportionate to the closeness of the relationship. The closer children are to their parents, the less they are influenced by their peers. The more peer-oriented the children are, the less they will be influenced by their parents.

We are social beings. We must provide that venue for relationships to grow stronger. How do we do this? We can find out what others enjoy doing and spend time doing these with them. We must learn to listen to the people we want to build relationships with. Spend time with them, and even with our busy schedules, we yearn to have their hearts. How is your relationship with your family members? Do they want to spend time with you?

3) INTENTIONALITY

Good results seldom happen by chance. They are a product of intentionality. If we want to build something, we must have a plan. We must follow a design. To be intentional is to be deliberate, and purposeful, and avoid haphazard, accidental interactions.

Proverbs 22:6 gives us a command to TRAIN UP (direct one’s appetite towards a specific direction) children. It has a sense in which we break self-will; to learn to follow God’s will. This takes great intentionality and discipline. We are to TEACH our family important topics like identity, the truth about the world, family, friendship, marriage, and more importantly, all things about God.

Sooner or later, we will depart from this life. We must ask the question: what will we leave behind? What kind of influence will be your legacy? Is it eternal or temporal? Is it good or bad? What are we leaving behind? CS Lewis said “Christianity, if false, is of no importance. If true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important.” We need to take seriously who Jesus is and take living according to His ways seriously. We are not being asked to leave a legacy of religion but of a real, deep love toward God and the relationships He entrusted to us, beginning with our families.